Job Stress

My boss forwarded an email which said the numbers from one data source I was responsible looked fishy. I became a little nervous after reading it, secretly hoping it was not fault. I checked the raw data and the numbers did look weird. I then searched for some background information on other institutions that collected the same kind of data but nothing was available. In the end I emailed the survey administrtor who sent us the raw data for help. He explained that he did the recoding (so an 1 would actually be a 36) but this recoding was not there in the codebook! No wonder the data did not sound right. I was happy it was not my fault.

I deal with numbers and present data with policy implications. For example I did a comparison of faculty salary at the university I work for and other institutions. Averages and medians in salaries from other universities were presented to give a sense of what's on the market from competitors. The project was finished already but I have a linger concern that I hope I gave the correct numbers or it is a huge mistake.

It is things like this that affects me without my even noticing it. The pressure to be correct all the time creeps on me. I go to the gym and sweat off , but it is not enough, seemingly. I look relaxed when I go home but I am jumpy at times at work. I also cannot get too much sleep at night. The alarm would go off in the morning and I would slam it down and try sleeping 10 more minutes. Sleeping early the previous night would not help, either. I am blaming my job for this. It is not like I don't like my job. I would hate being a faculty member even more. but not having to get up at 7:30 am sounds a goal.

Have to go. Boss and another co-workers' birtheday bash. Not my favorite ocassion (not knowing what to write on the B-cards and not being able to cut in when office conversation monopolizers take the floor) but I know I'll have some dessert at least. Don't know what it will be.

Opener

Welcome to my blog.

Have seen other people's blogs. Some were great and fun to read. Why not having one of my own? It will be a memory of a sort, as I already feel I am starting to forget things and names of places, people and books are starting to be on the tip of my tongue but taking too long to come out.

Another reason to start this blog is intellectual. Clarity of thought requires practice. Although I finished dissertation about a year ago, the painfulness of the process and ill at ease at finding the right structure and diction still torture me. Throw in the aging thing and the forgetfulness, I am a case of Alzheimer's. lol. I just hope when I am old I am not senile.

I also hope this would be a great opportunity for my friends to know about what I am doing or even for me to know who I am. Funny to be thinking about who I am at this age, isn't it! That is how I feel sometimes. What kind of person do I want to be? What do I want in life? Am I there yet? I don't have answers just yet, but I am trying.